Let It Die

So there are plans for Indy 5.

Yeeeeeah.

Not sure exactly how I feel about that one. ...Crystal Skull was, to put it mildly, bat-shit crazy and not really in a good way. Having finally seen it a second time I can safely report that the first half (hiding in fridges aside) is almost vintage Indy. Harrison Ford is the man. Yes he's a little bit old and a little bit rusty, but he's still got it. That's not a problem. Shia LaBoeuf's not even that much of an issue; I mean, yeah, so he's pretty much playing the reprobate smart alec that he always plays but that's fine. Apart from one little jungle scene, he fits in kinda well.

The problem, I have come to realise. is probably George Lucas. This is the man responsible for Jar Jar Binks. This is the man who butchered a hallowed trilogy by making a far inferior prequel of three. This is a man who thinks ewoks are cool. THIS IS NOT A SANE MAN! What is it with Lucas? Why does he have to fiddle with what's already good. I mean, ok, Temple of Doom was pretty crap in places but Raiders... and ...Crusade kicked some serious ass. You take an accident-prone adventurer who's basically Han Solo in a hat; you toss in some exotic locales, shitloads of creepy bugs, melting skin sequences (thank you very much ILM), and add a dash of Biblical mythology. Nowhere in there does it say aliens. Do you see the word aliens anywhere in there George? No! No fucking aliens!! And while we're here, was there any need for Tarzan Shia? Really? REALLY?!

Sigh.

This is why I'm afraid for Indy 5. Do we even really need another one? What's the point? Is there still more story to tell, or would this still awesome legacy just be best served by leaving it alone? There are arguments for both: On the one hand Indy 4 serves as a warning that stuff like this rarely works. Spielberg and Lucas aren't the same guys now as they were then....and it showed. But equally there's a case to be made for a movie of apology, a film that says, 'Sorry we fucked up guys. We promise this will be better.' Because it needs to be. Better, that is. No, it's not quite as bad as a certain Gungan, but at least that film had the decency to provide the sweetest lightsaber battle yet. We love you Ray Park. We love you.

Stick to the formula George. It's Indy, not the fucking X Files.